Mama in the City

My baby is officially one month old and things are starting to become a bit more routine and a little less shocking for me. I still find myself in my pyjamas until close to noon every day and washing my hair has become a big deal when it's just me with my two. I adore my newborn but there is one thing that has been nagging at me; my post partum body image makes me feel anxious and upset. I feel soft and rolley and not at ease with my current post baby shape.

This body image issue is sort of surprising considering for days after my birth I pranced around the delivery room wearing those mesh underwear the hospital provides and felt very at ease with my exposed body. My body was strong and amazing and had pushed out a 9 pound baby in 13 minutes. The extra rolls didn't bother me one bit. I felt at ease in my scantily clad outfit and didn't mind people walking in and catching me wearing the fancy white briefs; thick thighs and jiggly tummy to boot.

The logical part of my brain screams out at me,'it's been 4 weeks you crazy fool! You just had a baby!' but the other part of me sees the extra skin and the stretched out tummy and feels annoyed. Back when I had Ben I snapped back rather quickly and never wore maternity jeans post baby. I only had about 5 or so pounds of extra fluff left by 4 weeks post pregnancy. I was able to wear all of the clothes that had been hanging out in my closet during my pregnancy and I felt good. My tummy snapped back and it was fantastic and I didn't even know it.


Before babies there were always jiggly bits but in places I was okay with and good at disguising.

This time it's a different game and there is 15 pounds of extra fat from pregnancy that has settled on my body and I hate it. There is also at least 10 extra pounds that was there before I even got pregnant but I was okay with that. I hate seeing the double roll on my once flattish stomach. I hate the fact that my old pants can't go up past my knees and when I sit my tummy oozes over itself. I don't want to be obsessed over how I look, but I do hate knowing none of my old clothes look semi decent on me even if I were to try and squeeze into them right now.

I don't believe in dieting this early post partum and I believe I will eventually get this extra weight off. My problem is mainly that I'm impatient and I want instant snap back to my pre pregnant body. Every picture I see of myself holding my sweet little Josephine I can't help but critique how I look.vIt's insanity and I'm assuming many mamas feel the same.

The Shape Of A Mother is one website dedicated to providing a reality for post partum moms.

Don't worry, I do have good insight into my obsessed thoughts and totally get the whole,'ummm....you just had a baby, don't be ridiculous!' argument. I just wish I had skipped the attempt to try on jeans at the Gap last week, especially the part where I accidentally grabbed a size 6 instead of my actual size and didn't notice until the jeans wouldn't move past my ankles.